Annual Southern Gentleman Issue
Being a modern gentleman isn’t just about dressing well and knowing which fork to use at a dinner party, so we asked The Gentleman to chime in and answer your most pressing etiquette questions. Here’s his expert advice on everything from remote work etiquette to thank-you cards.
Q. This upcoming holiday season, my wife and I have decided to slow down and do things differently. How can I express to my extended family that we won’t be participating in certain holiday traditions this year?
A. Ah, traditions. Traditions are the heartbeat of many Southern families, but the ability to embrace change gracefully is the mark of a true gentleman. In this situation, an in-person conversation or phone call may be received better than a casual text. Be clear about how your holiday plans are changing this year, but remember to show respect for the traditions you’ll be missing out on. An extra dose of care and consideration will go a long way.
Q. I recently started freelancing full-time and am looking forward to working remotely from local coffee shops and coworking spaces. What should “office” etiquette look like for remote workers?
A. When working remotely in public spaces, preparedness and professionalism are essential. If you opt for a coffee shop, it’s generally an unspoken rule that you will make a purchase that correlates with the amount of time you plan to remain in the store. Be sure to pack earbuds or headphones to block out ambient noise, and consider moving outside during any virtual meetings or phone calls to avoid disturbing other patrons. Additionally, be mindful of other remote workers around you. Some might be open to networking or small talk, while others may desire to work quietly and keep to themselves.
Q. I would like to build a new office wardrobe that feels professional without sacrificing my personal style. Any advice?
A. Professional attire tends to avoid trends and adhere to stricter dress codes, but a touch of personal style is a great way to set yourself apart in an office setting. I recommend you begin by reviewing your company’s policy on dress code. Once you know any requirements or restrictions that apply, use those guidelines to experiment with new cuts, colors, patterns, and textures. Keep your look polished with well-tailored pieces, and don’t forget the importance of classic accessories like belts, watches, and ties.
Q. One of my close friends sent me an incredibly kind gift for my birthday, and I would like to send him a handwritten card in response. Any tips for writing a memorable thank-you message?
A. A thank-you card, eh? I like your style. Handwritten notes have become a lost art in this day and age, but they remain, in my humble opinion, one of the most thoughtful ways to express gratitude. My advice is to keep your message sincere and succinct. Be specific about what your friend’s gesture means to you, and don’t shy away from reminding him of the value of his continued friendship.
Q. My spouse and I love to host dinner parties, but we have a couple of friends who tend to linger later into the evening than we expect. What’s the best way to let a guest know they have overstayed their welcome?
A. Good communication makes all the difference when it comes to setting boundaries with friends. Before your next dinner party, make sure to share clear information about when the party will begin and end. If you find that guests are still lingering later than you wish, provide subtle cues for them to notice. Begin lightly tidying the space, or turn off the music. If your guests still don’t realize it’s time to go, express gratitude for their company and politely let them know the evening’s festivities have come to a close.
